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Video Transcript:

Hello sober warriors, I hope you're all well today.

I was chatting to an old client of mine the other day who's been sober now for a couple of years and he was telling me that he'd been reflecting back on his drinking days. And what he was saying was that when he was drinking, he used to feel an awful lot of negative things about himself…

He used to doubt himself a lot. He used to have a lot of anxiety, low self confidence and self esteem. And he used to think that all of those things were just him. That was who he was as a person. He was somebody with low self esteem, low self confidence, anxiety. And he didn't kind of trust himself to make the right decisions, et cetera.

What he's realised since he stopped drinking is that wasn't him at all. His confidence has grown. He doesn't doubt himself in the same way that he used to, and he's realised that all of those negative emotions were actually caused by the drink. They weren't part of his personality, part of his character, part of his make up. It was the drink that was kind of contributing to all those negative feelings.

And he was saying that what happens now is he does sometimes get moments of self doubt and he does get moments of fear and anxiety and he does get moments where he lacks confidence about certain things. But they tend to be more fleeting. And they tend to be completely appropriate to the context around him. So if for instance, he’s going for a job interview, he might feel anxious about that, which is a completely normal thing to feel.

So he's starting to see himself very differently now, and he's starting to recognise all of the strengths in himself. All of the strengths to his character now that he’s stopped drinking.

And this made me reflect too, and I thought, yes, I could say very similar things about myself actually. But one of the other things that I recognise is in my drinking days I used to think that I needed drink to be able to have a good time, to have a laugh, to be funny, to enjoy myself. Alcohol kind of tricked me into thinking that I needed it to be able to do all of those things. 

And yes, whilst I am quite a serious and thoughtful person, I do think about things quite deeply, I can come across as quite serious, I’ve also recognised that since I've stopped drinking, I’ve recognised this about myself -  that there is a little mischievous and child like part about me. That that's really there. That's really me. I don't need the drink for that to come out. That comes out all by itself when I'm completely sober. When I'm in the right company in the right context.

And so the point I'm making through sharing this with you is that  when you are using alcohol on a regular basis, when you've got an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, it distorts the view you have of yourself. It distorts the way you see yourself. It stops you from being able to make accurate judgments about yourself, about the parts of you that are positive that you like and that you want to enhance and the parts of you that you might want to change about yourself. You can't do that clearly when you've got an unhealthy relationship with alcohol because it clouds your judgement. your view of yourself.

It's kind of like if you imagine there's a mirror in front of you and you’re looking at yourself in the mirror, but there's a thick kind of clear substance, a bit like water, but thicker. And although it's clear, it's quite viscous and it's kind of trickling slowly down the mirror in front of you and it's obstructing your view. You can't see yourself clearly, and so you might try wiping this substance off the mirror, but it just smears it and you can't see yourself properly even still. That's the effect of alcohol - that’s how it distorts. 

You can’t judge who you really are as a person while you're drinking alcohol, so you need to ditch the alcohol for a good long while in order to really get a sense of who you really are. And to judge that clearly, you need to clean the mirror before you can get a good look at yourself and decide what you like and what you don't like.

So that's today's blog. Interested to hear your thoughts on that and to hear how clearly you're seeing yourself right now.

I'm learning things all of the time every week, every month. I'm sort of reflecting and learning something new about myself, so I think for me it’s ongoing. I think the mirror in front of me gets clearer and clearer every week and every month that I'm sober. I think the mirror is constantly, constantly clarifying itself in more and more detail and that's my experience. 

I'd be interested to know what your thoughts are. I'll look forward to catching up with you tomorrow, but in the meantime, let's go get sober together!

 

I hope you enjoy watching or reading this blog post. If you want some extra support, motivation and guidance to stop drinking and stay stopped, join our private and super-supportive Facebook Group here: Go Get Sober Group | Facebook


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