At the time of writing this, I am sitting in a little casita in a mountain in Spain. The sun is sifting gently through a pale haze of thin white clouds and it’s very hot. I’m on my own and I have a week to myself to get some work done. I feel at peace and am enjoying the solitude, the scenery and the weather.
Before I stopped drinking, and even 3-4 months into getting sober, I could never have imagined being away like this, on my own, in the sunshine, without copious amounts of alcohol. Indeed, when I used to go away on holiday, the thing I really looked forward to most was the drinking. No work in the mornings: a holiday was free reign to indulge my passion for getting drunk. And a change of scene and some good weather was a bonus, adding a bit of extra excitement to things.
I would spend the vast majority of days on holiday feeling rough, hungover and fragile until six o’clock the next evening when I could give myself permission to start again. Most of my time was spent thinking about drinking or not drinking – when to start and when to stop.
The thought of going away, particularly on my own, was terrifying without alcohol. However, now I’m sober and not giving any energy to thinking about drinking at all, I am truly amazed at my courage and at my capacity to enjoy life sober. I’m taking huge pleasure in simple little things like the sun on my skin or the sound of wind and cicadas drifting over the pool. I feel like I have re-connected with myself in a healthy way. I’m naturally high on life and am celebrating and feeling happy most days. I want to emphasise that when I started living life sober, I had no concept that this was possible for me. Now I know it is, I know that it’s possible for you too.
Some people enjoy the repetition of the audios in the programme and recognise the benefits they bring. Others find it more of a challenge to build quiet time into their day and to motivate themselves to sit, breathe and use their imaginations. It doesn’t matter whether doing this is less-than-easy for you or super-easy for you – this twenty minutes you spend on yourself is going to make all the difference to your progress and is going to lead you a level of sober freedom, confidence and happiness that will amaze you. It might take one, three, six, or nine months, but when you have it, you will feel as phenomenal and as full of potential as I do right now.
I know some people who have found it challenging to do one whole week sober. I know others who can do a month and then struggle. And others get to five or six months sober and find themselves thinking about drinking again. Whatever our own tricky point is, we are all dealing with that embedded programming in our unconscious minds – that huge 90% of us that wants to resort to habit – so it might be tough sometimes. As we form new habits, we will occasionally meet with resistance. But if and when we do, the audios and the exercises in the programme really help, so keep going with them and I look forward to hearing about your progress and experiences on the Support Forum.
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