Right where shall I start?
Well in my mid / late 20’s I discovered clubbing with my friends and having my first proper few tastes of nursing hangover’s was the start of my relationship with alcohol, I was a late starter for clubbing and boozing as I was a young single mum to my daughter.
However, my alcohol intake wasn’t that bad, I would describe myself as a normal adult, going out of a weekend (when my daughter went to her dads) with my friends with no booze throughout my working week which was normal for years really until I had my son in my mid 30’s.
I’d stayed single for years, just enjoying being a single mum with my girl and my friends then I met my son’s dad, which was an “on/off” relationship, but I had my son mid 30’s.
The relationship ended terribly (he’s an ex-soldier with issues that I couldn’t put up with any more) and although I had my own house (which I rented out to live as a family with my son’s dad in his house) I found myself practically “homeless” until I could get the tenants out of my house and by that time, it practically needed renovating.
This is when I found myself stressed, unable to cope or be as strong as I had been, so I self medicated with a bottle of wine most nights.
After time, things got better, my house was nice and clean as I liked it, I was due to go back to work, both my kids were settled, I wasn’t knocking back as much alcohol as I had been doing & I FINALLY thought “yep, getting back on track” then unexpectedly, my best friend in the whole world sadly passed away – my lovely, gorgeous kind Dad.
Completely floored me (he was my rock) and again I went back to the “ole faithful” WINE!!
I didn’t end up going back to work, I resigned.
As well as grieving myself, keeping my kids emotions stable etc, I was left with the responsibility to get everything sorted, funeral arrangements, financial matters, medical investigations etc.
It’s been just over two years now since that dreadful day with my Dad, and I saw Go Get Sober advertised on Facebook and initially I did get in touch with Jo, but then withdrew as I wasn’t ready to be honest not just with Jo but myself with regards to the amount of booze I was sinking.
Then one day, I woke up & I thought “enough is enough” I can’t continue like this no more, I’m not living, I’m just existing and my Dad would be very disappointed looking down on me watching me piss my life away, plus I have two very beautiful children that I worship the ground they walk on.
So for the second time, I got in touch with Jo and signed up and its the best thing I’ve done to help myself in a long time. Not saying it’s been easy because it hasn’t but Jo’s been at the end of every e-mail to give me support, I’ve worked through some of the modules (which I need to get back up to speed with) and most of all I’ve been able to be honest with myself that I was a piss head!!
Now, I hardly think of booze, I can go in a pub for food and drink “lime & lemonade”, I don’t go out to pubs at night time and haven’t for years so it’s not like I’m missing that either and mostly it’s been a breath of fresh air that I’m not lying any more and my kids don’t see me as a total “waster”, not that they did (sometimes my girl did, but I did a very good job of being very deceitful).
I enjoy doing lots of activities now with my little boy who’s nearly 5, I’m more confident and I’ve even been able to join a training gym for one-to-one training (only because I’m not cardio fit and I do need to tone up!) but once I’ve done a couple of months with my female trainer, I’ll not care and join in the group workouts at night time with both male and female, so all is good and my life is improving – thank the good lord above!
Lots of Love
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