Hello x Your website appeared in my fb feed just as I was beginning to realise I was sliding down that slippery path towards a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol once again.
I gave up drinking in 1999, just before the millennium celebrations of 2000. Why? because I ended up in a police cell after leaving a dinner party I was at with my husband, ......alone. I didn't make it home but ended up on a stranger's doorstep so drunk I didn't even know my name. They called the police who desperately tried to find out my name and address so they could take me home.
A mother of 3 young children being locked up for the night was beyond horrific. In the morning, through the crushing hangover, shame and guilt I managed to give them the information they needed to ring my husband. That was my rock bottom and I didn't drink a drop for 12 years, even through the grief of losing my parents and brother all in the space of 18 months.
Two years ago my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and I found myself once again reaching for alcohol.
Last Monday after a heavy lunchtime session at our local pub I fell down a steep slope in our garden carrying a wooden fold up table. Result? A laceration to my chin, bruising to my face, neck, eye and arms.......and the guilt, shame and lies to cover up what had really happened which meant I did not seek medical attention. Eventually when the cut to my chin became horribly infected I had to go to A&E.
I have not left the house since then as my black eye and injured chin have left me feeling vulnerable,....and embarrassed.
However, this rock bottom and your website have inspired and motivated me once again to Go Sober!
I am expecting my first Grandchild in November and my biggest fear when drinking was that I wouldn't be able to drive or respond if my daughter needed me. Also the general fog and anxiety had started to affect my ability to cope with my husband's condition.... making me feel less able to cope.
Thank you for appearing in my life. The timing was perfect. I have also told my husband that I have decided to give up again and he disclosed he had started to worry. I know how easy it is to slip back if you haven't had someone to hear your decision out loud.
I feel better already just having made the leap, and taking strong antibiotics has given me the physical kick start I needed. 7 days without alcohol has given me the opportunity to remember just how liberating taking control again is.
Your website will be so supportive while I continue on my path to a life without shame, anxiety and guilt. Thank you
Two weeks later:
22 days sober! Clothes fitting better, skin brighter, head clearer......altogether feeling more alive
Sadly I didn't quite get away with my accident, ended up going to A&E on Sunday morning as my wrists were painful. 3 weeks after the accident I learned I had broken both my wrists! However, because the bones were already healing I just had splints instead of plaster, thank God. I still have a faded black eye which acts as a reminder of why I am choosing to Go Sober! Also wrist splints Thank you for your encouragement especially as this coincides with my husbands deteriorating Alzheimer's disease. It would be so easy to say, "F**k it, let's go to the pub" but I've turned it on its head,........and remind myself that drink would only hinder my ability to take care of him, and myself.
I love sitting outside in the mornings (6.30am) with my first coffee of the day celebrating another morning with NO hangover x
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